When I was a teenager, I was such a people pleaser. I did everything that everyone else wanted me to do and it’s safe to say I didn’t have much of a backbone. I’m not a confrontational person, I never really argued with any of my friends and I was very shy, so I just used to do what other people wanted me to do and kinda suffered in silence.
When I look back now at all those times with friends and ex-boyfriends, it makes me sad to think I always did what they did and never really much what I wanted to do. If I had my mindset now, there would be so much I’d tell myself to do and what not to do.
IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DO IT, THEN DON’T
Like I said, I was a people pleaser and at one point in my life, I was the only person in my group of “friends” who could drive, so everywhere they wanted to go, I went. I always used to think it was making me one of the popular girls of the group because people always wanted to be with me, but really they were just using me.
Eventually I started hanging around with a different group of girls where most of them could drive and they we’re a lot more mature than the last group of girls (although I did remain really good friends with one of them and she’s still my best friend today), but again I found myself slipping into doing what others wanted and not myself. I was always guilt tripped into nights out or going places when sometimes I really just wanted to chill out and do nothing. But little ‘ol me with no backbone decided to always say yes!
In the end, we all started focusing on jobs and boyfriends etc that we ended up going our separate ways. I still speak to two of those girls now, they’re both my best friends and they’re definitely the best thing to have come out of that friendship group. As much as I love all the memories we all had together in both friendship groups, I do wish I could go back to tell my younger self to just stop being their taxi, be completely honest with them and start doing what I want to do rather than what everyone else wanted.
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT FEELING
Ohhhh boy, never not trust your gut feeling. It’s always bloody right. Although being in a crappy, serious relationship when I was quite young helped me with my other relationships, I’d still love to go back and tell myself to trust my gut at the beginning and don’t waste anymore time… Just get out!!!! Once they’ve cheated and messaged loads of other girls and got away with it, they’ll always push their luck for more. No Thank You!
SAVE MONEY, YOU’LL NEED IT
I used to be craaaazy bad at spending money left right and centre on lots of crap and food that I didn’t need. Again going back to going out with friends when I didn’t want to, if I stayed in I could of saved so much money. I’m so much better at saving money now and don’t buy anything unless I really need it, but I’d love to go back and tell my younger self to save the money, I’ll survive without all the unnecessary crap and I’ll thank myself so much more in the future.
DON’T EAT SO MUCH RUBBISH
Okay, so I know this is a touchy subject and we should all learn to love our bodies no matter what shape or size etc, but loving my body is something I just can not do, especially when I used to be a lot slimmer. 8 years ago, when I was 18 I was a size 10/12 and I LOVED my body. I had amazing curves, big boobs and a really small waist and I felt good and confident. Then I got a boyfriend and we started eating more together, I went out a lot and was constantly drinking alcohol and because I could drive I didn’t walk anywhere and never did any exercise. Now, sitting here in a much happier relationship, I’m a size 20/22 and I absolutely HATE my body. I’m currently eating healthier and exercising now, but I know I have such a long way to go until I reach a size 10/12 again that it fills me with dread, fear and tears. If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to cut out eating loads of crap, drink less alcohol (I never really liked it anyway) and try exercising once or twice a week. Otherwise you’ll sit here 8 years later, looking at the long road a head of you to getting back to the size you once were.
FOCUS ON EDUCATION, NOT NIGHTS OUT
From the age of about 10, I always wanted to be a fashion designer. I used to draw (really badly now looking back) outfits that I thought would look nice together and keep them in a folder hidden away so no one could find them. I was always really creative in school (I always had loads of different coloured gel pens and in high school got told off a few times for using so many different colours in my books) and I loved art, that I took it for GCSE’s and then went onto A Levels. I kinda lost focus in my A Levels as all my friends we’re going out partying and as I was nearly 18, I wanted to go out too. I ended up failing most of my A Levels and dropping out of sixth form.
Since I loved Art so much, I decided maybe going to college to study it would be better for me. In my first year we did Art and in the second year I progressed onto Fashion & Design. I loved it at first, but (as I went from one group of friends to the other – in my first point) I started going out more and never really made any time for my college work. I had to get a job to support myself whilst in college and the more I made, the more I could socialise so the more overtime I did. In the end, I just about passed my course, I was nearly doing full time hours in work, I had put so much weight on through food, alcohol and driving everywhere that I was left with no confidence and no where to go in life HA. Sounds kinda sad doesn’t it? I’d just loveeee (*this is probably the point I’d love to do most*) to go back and tell my younger self to focus, concentrate, leave all the partying until the summer, save your money and get a good career for yourself.
This is a very personal post for me so I hope you enjoyed it. Is there anything you’d like to go back and tell your younger self?